hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I party with great urgency now.
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