I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
