No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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