I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i think my tv is drunk
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
