The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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