Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
