I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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