I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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