shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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