Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize