just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize