I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
