You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
zippers are such a cool invention
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
