Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
