it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
