What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
