there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize