I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
