What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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