I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
