Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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