everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
