Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
