the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
