Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
