You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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