is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
