after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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