this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
