what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
