She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize