do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All I want is dick and wine.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
