My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
