do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
