It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Even my vagina gasped.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
