it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
please come you make the beer taste better
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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