so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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