so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
