I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
