so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize