She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
