No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Terrible idea I love it
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
