I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
