I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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