tell your sister to shave her snatch
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
