only if we run a train.
done.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize