Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
