There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
