Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
