The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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