1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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