I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
A+ Viking dick
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
