I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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