Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
