Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
