come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
