I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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