just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
