How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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