You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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